


The Only Temple I Have Been To

by AnnetheCatDetective



Series: Based on PR prompts and requests [7]
Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Asexual Hermann, Asexuality Spectrum, Demi Hermann, Demisexuality, M/M, Trans Male Character, Trans Newton Geiszler, so I just made one, there's not a specific tag for
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-31
Updated: 2015-04-01
Packaged: 2018-03-20 13:35:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3652299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnetheCatDetective/pseuds/AnnetheCatDetective
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hermann Gottlieb has never been interested in what another person had in their pants. </p><p>Until Newton Geiszler, his boyfriend of three months.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Another one that was inspired by... well, a headcanon rather than a prompt:  
> http://newmannheadcanons.tumblr.com/post/115088766694/trans-newt-used-to-being-willing-to-try-dating
> 
> So, trans Newt, demi ace Hermann, and some discovery.
> 
> (also, rather timely for the trans day of visibility)

Before Newt, Hermann didn't date much. He didn't care about the contents of his prospective partners' pants, but it quickly became clear that the men he tended to like were not compatible with him, sexually. Either they liked having sex with women and overlooked him completely, or they liked having sex with men, which was sometimes worse. Hermann had never had the urge to have sex with anyone, and found the whole thing ranked somewhere between dull and distressing. At best, it was a waste of his time and something of a hassle, with clean-up and sanitation to worry about, not to mention preparation where needed.

 

He'd given up on looking for someone who wouldn't ask for too much, and besides, his work became far more important than his personal life once he was with the PPDC.

 

Before Hermann, Newt dated a lot, but nothing ever worked out. He didn't care about the contents of his prospective partners' pants. He didn't care about what they identified as or how they presented. He liked people who interested him. People who could keep up. He had a hard time finding people who could keep up. His work habits drove a lot of people off. His personality sometimes finished the job, his inability to explain things the way he wanted to.

 

He'd given up on finding love while working with the PPDC. When he was bounced from Shatterdome to Shatterdome, there was no guarantee he'd find a queer space in his temporary home, and a community he could relax around. He'd been burned looking for love outside of safe spaces.

 

Newt had come out to Hermann in Lima. It was a hot, sticky night, and Newt's lab was the coolest place in the Shatterdome, outside of the kitchens' walk-in freezer. He and Hermann had set up air mattresses and joked about slumber parties-- well, Newt had joked. They'd called a temporary truce, though it was a strained one, and Newt was out to medical but not to just people. He wanted to be, with Hermann. He'd been toying with making Hermann his emergency contact, because after how long they'd known each other, Hermann was something to him, and someone needed to be there on the scene, with time zones and red tape between Newt and his family. If he could do that, then he could come out to him. He'd discussed his hormone therapy and his relationship with his mother, and Hermann had agreed to be anything Newt needed him to be.

 

A week later, Hermann came out to Newt, barely able to whisper 'asexual' above the whir of the fans in the bio lab. Newt had made none of the jokes that Hermann had feared.

 

By the time they were at the next 'dome, they were at each others' throats, stress from the Lima 'dome shutting down getting to the both of them, but they were still listed as each others' emergency contacts.

 

After the kaiju fell, so did Newt and Hermann, exhausted and relieved into each others' arms.

 

Now, three months later, things are more stable. Things are _good_. Hermann is comfortable with Newt the way he hasn't been comfortable in a long time, if ever, and he loves knowing that Newt is comfortable with him in turn. They hold each other most nights, they dress and undress in the same room whenever it is convenient, they co-shower regularly. They touch each other, and that that touch is not sexual does not make it any less in Hermann's estimation. Newt's easy acceptance has helped him to banish the thought that he is broken or at fault, for looking for companionship and love without sex. Hermann loves the way that Newt's body looks, and that that appreciation is not sexual does not make it less, either. He loves the way Newt's body is warm and soft in his arms on cold nights, and the way the colors that spread across his skin tell the story of his life's great work studying the kaiju, and the way that water beads on his skin and rolls down him when they shower together.

 

He doesn't think about Newt's naked body very often when he isn't being presented with it, though from time to time he wishes he had some artistic talent so that he could capture the little folds of skin and fat when Newt twists around to the side, the way it changes the landscape of his back... 

 

He thinks about it now, lying on his back with his hand wrapped around himself. Masturbation is a regular activity for him, and not an unenjoyable one. A solo activity. He prefers to get it out of the way when he can have the bedroom to himself. It's not that he calls the image to mind for that purpose-- he's flashing back to a conversation they'd had in the shower, and the image comes with it. Newt with one foot up on the bench, a position he'd taken just briefly so that he could get his leg scrubbed, but he'd paused there to tell a part of his story, and Hermann had thought nothing of the view at the time.

 

Now, though, now it sends a jolt through him, the memory of Newt's grin, and the way his hand gestured-- the way his hands are not large, but strong, so sure when Hermann needed them to be. The way the water had sluiced over his body, as Hermann looked up at him, and the way droplets had clung to the thatch of curls between his legs. It had been a mere matter of fact at the time, a visual that Hermann appreciated from a distance, not like this, not visceral and hot below his gut.

 

He thinks about Newt's hand instead of his own, and feels an exhilarating mix of fear and desire. He thinks about placing his own hand between Newt's thighs, and the fear melts away and leaves him with nothing but a want that throws off his usual rhythm and timing.

 

Newt finds him lying in bed with his pyjama bottoms down around his thighs. Though Hermann had finished quickly, he couldn't find it in himself to fix his clothes, the way he normally does before Newt slips into their bedroom.

 

"Hermann? You feeling okay?" Newt hops onto his own side of the bed, reaching to feel Hermann's forehead.

 

"I'm not entirely certain. I... I've been thinking about you."

 

"Yeah?"

 

"I thought about you _while_ I..." Hermann gestures. It's not a crude gesture, not the one Newt would have used, just a gentle, non-indicative wave of the hand. "I thought I might... I might quite like to touch you. Sexually."

 

"Shit, yes." Newt sighs. "You want to?"

 

"I do. It... surprised me. I've never wanted to do this for someone before. But I'm used to what you look like, and to what it's like to be with you nonsexually... and to feeling good, when you kiss me or hold me. And when I thought about you naked, it... improved my experience. Hastened it."

 

"Oh." Newt's face lights up in a leering grin, and he unbuttons his jeans, leaning in to kiss Hermann softly and gently. He works his way down Hermann's throat, stopping at the collar of his pyjama top. "I hastened it? Tell me more."

 

"There really isn't anything to tell. I'm... confused, this is all very new, but I'm intrigued. I've always liked your body, I've just never reacted to it before. And I-- _reacted_."

 

"Okay, well take your time. You don't really have to do anything tonight, but you are totally welcome to touch me, and if you have questions, I might have answers."

 

Hermann nods, helping Newt to undress.

 

Everything is so familiar, and yet his reaction is so different. Newt's tattoos are the same bright swirling colors, still disguising the scars that run just below where breasts once lay, Newt's belly is the same gentle slope and curve, Newt's hands and eyes and smile are all the same as the day before. Hermann feels so differently about them, though. Hermann feels so differently about all of him. About himself.

 

"Show me how?" He asks, his hand resting on Newt's thigh. A tingle runs up his arm when Newt guides him into place.

 

"Just touch for now, okay? Explore a little before you go asking about how to get me off." Newt grins at him warmly. "Tell me about what you're feeling."

 

"Confused. I've never wanted like this. Does that change who I am?"

 

"Demisexual is a thing." Newt shrugs. Hermann's hand is curved over his mons, the heel against his stiffening cock-- his chosen word, and Hermann knows it's his chosen word, knows that Newt calls it his clitoris when he's discussing anything medical and his cock when he's discussing it personally. He's never felt it fill out before, and he moves his hand to look.

 

Hermann can imagine putting his mouth on it, though he doesn't think he's ready to redefine his sexuality so radically yet. Exploratory touch is one thing, a blowjob is another, and he's still confused, but he's enjoying himself so far.

 

"I've never heard the word." He admits, tracing a fingertip around Newt's vulva. He doesn't know the rules there, because he's never needed to, but he doesn't skirt too close to the opening without express permission. He just wants to know what the skin there feels like, and if the flesh will be hot beneath his touch. "I-- I really don't want to give up being asexual, I have been for as long as-- Well, for my whole life."

 

"You don't have to give up your sexual identity." Newt promises, stroking Hermann's cheek. "It's just asexual, with specific exceptions. Say, if you've known and cared about someone for a really long time and you've built up a lot of trust, and then one day you notice they've got it going on and you wanna get in their pants, but no one else does it for you."

 

"No one else does it for me." Hermann affirms. He doesn't even have to think about it. The only man whose pants he's ever been interested in is Newt, and he can't even picture wanting someone else. He snorts, dropping a kiss to Newt's belly. "I have known you better than I've ever known anyone."

 

"Not gonna lie, dude, I'm kind of into the fact that mine is the only cock you've ever been into."

 

"I know, I'm the only gay man I know who's never wanted to touch a penis." Hermann says, just a little wry. He nuzzles his way around Newt's belly, cupping his hand over him again, feeling strangely satisfied when Newt grinds his cock into the heel of Hermann's hand. "Just your cock. I like it."

 

"Yeah?"

 

"You know I like your body."

 

"You've never liked it in a sex way before tonight, though." Newt smiles. "Just feed my ego."

 

He rolls his eyes, pulling his hand away again so that he can stroke Newt's cock with his thumb. If he laid it alongside, they'd be about the same length, but he doesn't feel the need to measure, he just wants to feel Newt's skin, the firm-soft flesh, the heat of him and his pulse...

 

"I like how you feel." Hermann's voice is soft, his face warm. "Against my hand. You feel... part of the way hard."

 

"Yeah, I'm getting there."

 

"I'm doing that." There's wonder in his smile, and his eyes meet Newt's. "I am, aren't I?'

 

"Yeah, I don't walk around at half-mast all day."

 

"I'm doing that." Hermann repeats, resting his cheek on Newt's stomach and just focusing on the feel of him, stroking him with two fingers and feeling him shudder. He never could have imagined himself here, but now that he is, it's all he wants.


	2. Chapter 2

Hermann presses kisses into the yielding flesh of Newt's belly, over each hip, willing himself to get used to the scent of arousal. It's very similar to the scent of Newt first thing on a winter's morning, after a night of their bodies staying hot beneath layers of blankets, sour-sweet-sharp, something like iron running beneath an animal smell that's hard to define. So, he thinks, it's mostly sweat that he's picking up on, close to the crease of the hip.

 

He laps gently at the skin, and that's all it tastes of-- skin, barely different from licking his own hand. Newt is up on his elbows, so that he can look down at Hermann with a dizzy, warm smile, and Hermann is doing his best to explore Newt's body sexually, and not only his genitals. Newt's belly is something he loves, because it is Newt, because it warms his hands on cold nights, when they slip beneath Newt's tee shirts, because there is something safe and welcoming in the softness of Newt's body.

 

Newt was once a chubby kid-- the images that had transferred to Hermann's brain are a mix of accurate pictures taken from old photographs and glimpses in the mirror, and of Newt's own self-image from his childhood, but they had traded stories anyway, to fill in gaps, and Newt had talked about it, and about losing a lot of the weight on T, the way his fat shifted around where it didn't melt away, and how his focus on work and inability to keep healthy eating habits up in the lab led to something of a return of his gut, during the war. How maybe some of that is advancing age, now that he isn't in his twenties anymore. Hermann doesn't mind. Hermann finds comfort in the shape of Newt's body and the way it fits with his own. 

 

He'd never considered sexual attraction, and now he does, to the whole of Newt's body. His belly is a part of that, needs as much attention as the chest and arms that Newt has a bit more pride in. And, positioned as he is to explore between Newt's thighs, it is easy for his kisses to reach.

 

"I've always appreciated your body." He reiterates. "And your cock. Just... not like this, and... I really appreciate-- everything."

 

"Good, I'm glad." Newt smiles, gentle, nods and strokes Hermann's hair. "You have really good hands, dude... I could definitely get into doing this more often if you're down..."

 

"Tell me about what you like?"

 

"Loved you stroking my cock, even just with your thumb, shit... you know how to tease me..."

 

"I don't, actually."

 

They both laugh, and Newt's hand slides down, to settle warm and heavy at the back of Hermann's neck, with a little squeeze that makes him feel safe.

 

"You're pretty good at it, then, for a guy who doesn't know what he's doing. But get your fingers wet before you-- Fuck-- Here, I'll..." Newt grunts, flopping back to free up his other arm. He releases Hermann, makes a fist with his left hand, thumb extended, and shows it to him. With his right, he demonstrates, stroking the outstretched thumb with just thumb and forefinger, then two fingers. He places his middle finger against the tip of his thumb and makes tiny circles, resumes stroking, then presses his two fingers, flat and firm against the pad of his thumb and slowly strokes up.

 

Hermann watches the whole display, entranced, waiting until Newt is finished before he coats his fingers in saliva and tries to replicate the series of moves, stroking and teasing and then giving Newt something to grind into. The grunts and groans are immensely satisfying, as he works Newt to a climax, and the fact that he can see muscles twitching and clenching and shuddering is strange and fantastic, in Newt's belly, in his thighs and between them. He can feel his own cock coming back to life, though he estimates he's still a ways away from being fully hard again. 

 

At first he'd thought he wanted it that way, to not have to worry about reciprocation, being acted upon. Now he hopes they can keep this exploration going until he's ready to experience something more for himself.

 

They rearrange themselves, to lie together, heads on their pillows, legs slotting into place and foreheads touching, and Newt's breaths still heave, warm and faintly sweet, against Hermann's face. His own breaths come a little harder, and he guides Newt's hand to help him undress, pyjama top joining the pants at the foot of their bed.

 

"Kiss me? The way you really want to. And I'll stop you if it's too much." He says, his eyes closing.

 

The taste of Newt's tongue in his mouth is foreign, the feel distracting him a moment, too new for him to assign 'good' or 'bad' to any of it, and it had always been unpleasant before, in adolescent trials, but now he thinks it's not. He still prefers just the feel of Newt's lips on his, has always considered the passion sufficient-- making out with Newt is fun, is something Hermann could do for a very long time if it wasn't for the fact that 'making out', to Newt, has an end goal that can't always be avoided, and Newt frequently has to either switch to a loose cuddle or excuse himself to the bathroom. It's just that 'making out', for Hermann, has always had rather strict guidelines, and 'tongues stay in their own mouths' was a big one. Newt's tongue has come in contact with his lips before, but never attempted to move past them. Newt's mouth has been open before, and Hermann's as well, but without tongues becoming involved.

 

Now, Newt's tongue is doing things, and Hermann is enjoying them just fine. Newt's hands are tentative, one staying put tucked under Hermann's side and the other slowly sliding from hip to ribs to chest, and Hermann is enjoying that quite a lot.

 

"Could you come again?" Newt asks, leaves Hermann panting. "Would you want to?"

 

"I don't know, I've never had to do it twice in one day."

 

"What, never? Not even when you were, uh, growing up?"

 

"Once a day, for a couple of hellish stretches there, but that's the most."

 

"Dude, I was jacking off every chance I got... I mean, I didn't have to 'get rid of unwanted semen'..." He rolls his eyes, poking fun at Hermann's phrasing of choice, from when he'd explained his masturbatory habits, and the times when he would like to have the bedroom to himself. "But it turns out you get that blue balls feeling even if your balls are way up inside you and pumping out eggs. You get that 'fuck, I'm horny' tingle and then it _aches_ all up in the vaginal canal, like a stick-a-cock-in-me ache. Except I didn't actually _want_ a cock in me. Anyway, it doesn't matter, it goes away as long as you come even if you're just going for external, like, friction. Anyway, do you wanna try?"

 

"Friction?"

 

"To come again." Newt snorts. "But yes, I am definitely down for creating some friction. I could come again. My refractory period is, like, zero. Well, that's not true, I gotta come down from the oversensitivity sometimes. But then I'm ready to go."

 

"O-okay." Hermann nods. He would really like to see Newt come again, would like to watch his face when he makes those soft, low little sounds... He would like to have Newt, soft and warm and vulnerable and relaxed, to make him heavy-limbed and pleased and safe. He wants to mean new things to him.

 

Newt's hand moves to Hermann's cock, where it lies half to full again, resting on his thigh.

 

"So nice..." Newt sighs, his own hand exploring lightly. "So nice and thick and long..."

 

In a lineup, Hermann doesn't think he's either of those things, but he isn't in a lineup of other cocks, he's in their bed, where it's only him and Newt, and between the two of them, he guesses that does make his the biggest. Not that it matters, but Newt's flattery cooed into his ear does have a positive effect on it anyway.

 

Hermann trembles, when Newt's hand actually closes around him to start stroking, and Newt stops, and Hermann isn't sure if that was what he'd wanted, but now he knows it isn't, he wants Newt's hands on him, moving, feeling, exploring...

 

"It's all right." He urges, tugging Newt into a kiss. "Mm, please, it's all right. I'll tell you, if I need to stop, but I want this."

 

"Tell me how much you want it..." Newt groans, his leg hitches up around Hermann's to bring their bodies in closer still.

 

"So much. I-- I need you... I need you to bring that-- that, ah, sweet cock over here... I've never-- Sorry-- I don't know if...? Talking dirty isn't--"

 

Hermann can feel Newt's chuckle run along his own ribs, and Newt kisses him sweet and slow.

 

"Lie on your back." He untangles them from each other, grabs for his pillow to offer Hermann some extra support when he complies.

 

Newt straddles him, bringing their cocks together, trapping Hermann's and offering him the smooth slide of hot flesh against his own, and the tickle of hair, and the different textures of the different places on Newt's body, between his thighs. The texture of the skin of Newt's inner thighs, as well, against the outsides of Hermann's own. The careful distribution of weight, the applications of pressure and force, and Hermann thinks of how right it is that force is measured in newtons, when Newton is the greatest force in his life.

 

That's the thought going through his mind when he comes, and Newton lifts himself up, guiding Hermann's hand to his cock to give him something to grind against that isn't overly-sensitive from orgasm. This time, Hermann recovers himself enough to watch Newt's face, the way it pinches in pleasure and then relaxes into something so soft and so wonderful...

 

Newt gets them both cleaned up, before taking a quick bathroom break, where he goes ahead and gets ready for bed. Hermann doesn't feel ready to move yet, just ready to curl back into Newt's arms when he does get back to bed.

 

"Feeling okay?" Newt kisses his forehead, hand stroking Hermann's belly. It's a warm gesture, comfortingly familiar and comfortingly nonsexual.

 

"Yes, very."

 

"Awesome." Newt kisses him again, again. Newt shifts to hold him tight once more and to pull the covers up over them, just to keep Hermann warm until he is ready to rise. "Good first time?"

 

"I think so." Hermann wraps his arm around Newt and nuzzles up to him, where the scent of his sweat is once more reminiscent of chilly mornings, waking up to a cuddle, to burying his nose against Newt's neck to warm it. It's a bit heavier, but Hermann isn't ready to mind that, any more than he's ready to leave their bed. "Mm, I think you're the sexiest man in the world, how is that?"

 

"I'll take it." Newt grins.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [The Only Temple I Have Ever Been To (podfic)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9922715) by [bookmarc](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bookmarc/pseuds/bookmarc)




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